Friday, October 19, 2012

We Run KL 2012


Warning: This post will be in ENGLISH. No specific reason. Just feel like to. Arigatou.

So the past week was full of challenges, with high case counts, Nike Run, and my best friend’s convocation. Oh well, and actually this week too.
Back to the original topic, yea, I was fucking busy the whole last week. I apologize for my F word, it’s becoming my habit especially when I’m in PMS mood, and to all of you, I have PMS mood every single 365 days now, and so, don’t F with me. *lol*

I’m not gonna talk about my case counts and shit here now, so we’ll jump straight to ‘We Run KL 2012’ that I’ve joined. This is my 1st 10km run in my entire life which I looked forward to it badly since last year. I’ve adapted to a habit of jogging frequently, perhaps once every two days, starting from I graduated from my university.

I still recalled that was a day with pouring rain early in the morning around 10:30am. I was at the market getting my lunch and I was stuck in the fucking wet market for 45 min standing there, just for sake to wait the rain to get small. The distance between wet market and my condominium is just like maybe 50 steps away, and the rain was so damn huge that I can’t even dash to the gate of my condo. Fuck my life. I ended up borrowing polystyrene from fruit stall uncle and dash to the gate. And yea, you are right there; my whole body is drenched except for my head. It’s cool but not that cool.

At around 3+pm, it turned into drizzling. I was thinking if I should go or not to go to that event. It’s not about the 35 bucks that I’m wasting but I know my body well, it just can’t seem to withstand any attack, regardless of external environment or anything else. But  I’m such a dedicated runner I guess, I still proceed to KLCC to meet up with Ah fei.

So I stayed with my sis for about half an hour while waiting Ah fei to come over. I’ve put all my belongings in Fei’s car and only carry a small pouch, which is just sufficient to hold my IC and 10 bucks note inside it. I was even joking just in case I get lost or anything, at the least I can go take LRT and bus to my house.
We have absolutely no idea how should we walk over to the starting point, which was at around Zouk Club. But thanks god, we just kinda follow the crowd and manage to exit from a particular exit in KLCC (Sorry guys, I forgot the gate name), which leads to the starting point. We are not late, its just 5pm I guess, and according to the brochure that we got in the race pack, the event should start at 5:30. Crowd is getting tremendously huge as time passed; we are suffocating inside the crowd. I barely have the space to do my warm up. Crap.

Gun shot at 5:40. No idea why it is 10 min late.  Imagine you are about to run 10k later but you have to STAND for 40 min, grasping for air just to wait for the gun shot. OK, remember I say gunshot is at 5:40? Now, I’m not in front of the line, I’m kindda in the middle. So we basically have to wait for those who are in the front line move, before I can cross the starting line. That was 5 min after. Holy shit, I crossed the line at 5:45, even though the gun shot at 5:40.

I did slow jog for about 700m and then changed my pacing, just to make sure I don’t fall behind. The starting part of route is alright, except for the narrow road which is so packed that we got to zigzag here and there, just to cutover some walkers. I reached 2km, starting from 2km to 7km, it’s all highway roads. That’s the part where I began to get real slow. SLOPES, SLOPES and SLOPES. During my training, I can run like 1 hour plus on a flat road without stopping, but once I hit slopes, I can’t afford to run anymore. SLOPES are my WEAKEST PART. I walked each uphill, dashed downhill and jog on flat road.

There are times when people just don’t move to their left hand side when they walked, especially those students who barely trained. You can actually see them half dead walking starting from 5km. It’s perfectly fine to walk, but damn, those students, they chit-chat with their friends, walked side by side on the road, hogging the road. The most outrageous part is there are couples holding hands walking slowing, as if they are shopping. We have no choice but to zigzag pass them while dashing. It’s really irritating to zigzag while I’m jogging. And since I barely has any chance to jog uphill and I’m having flu that time, my breathe lost control, and I was like doing my best to take deep breathe, to counter-attack the lack of oxygen on the hill.

At about 5-7km, everything is still fine. Most people gave up and walked, and the crowd has dispersed. Well, most of them are left behind. Ridiculous moment came, at 8km onwards, I ran pass my office, and along that road, Nike management only block like A LANE for us. We have tons of people trying to run on that lane, but man, it’s just a single lane and there are people who walked on that lane. That lane is hogged. Adding on to running on the road and uphill, now we have to run up and down on pavement, just to overpass those walkers again. Finally I saw the finishing banner at the final 400m point. I was grasping for air already, muscles feel tight, but thanks to my kiasu-ness, I dashed for 400m to the finishing line.

 From the finishing line to the counter to collect my finisher tee, the pack is like damn shitty. Our legs are weak after finishing 10k, grasping for oxygen, whole body sweat like its Sahara desert over here, but dang, it’s crowded with people! Oh boy, I’ve being literally ‘pushed’ into the crowd and have to go with the flow. Everyone’s sweat is all mixed up, the sweat smell is so strong that I might pass out soon I thought, I even see some people fainted and have to clear a road for those people to carry them to the tent. *Eyes wide open*
So I got to the point where I can collect my finisher tee. Due to the rainy season and the pouring rain in the morning that day, Padang Merbok is full of mud, and when I mean full of mud, I MEANT it. The level of muddy is extreme; your shoe will immerse into the mud for like 1/3, you can feel the mud get into your socks and you have to pull your foot each time you walk a step.

I got my banana, mineral water, ice cream and my finisher tee. I’ve lost Ah Fei. We agreed to wait each other at the stage, but stage is just too far from me, I’ve get to a tent which sells powerbar and wait to see if he will pass up or not. Thanks god, we have fate. He found me in the end. So his scenario is even more pity than mine. As far as I’m concern, my Nike shoes just got into mud, but his ankle is kind of sprain because someone push him.

It is total white when I run with it and it came back with mud all over.

Nike Running Shirt. We have to run in this shirt.
My results is so-so for the total 10 km due to my flu and my unexpected flu before the run.
But I did break my own record for fastest 1 km and fastest 5km. :)

Ranked 700 and above among 15,000 for my first 10 km. Not bad eh.
Anyway, it’s a great experience, if we don’t take Nike Event team into consideration.
I will still join again next year and hopefully I can join more 10km run in the year to come.

I’m now looking forward to Penang Bridge International Marathon 10km during Nov, and I’m gonna train harder for that!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Birthday Post


今年,我過個很平淡很簡單的生日。
一是因為我還在敏感生病期間,另一個也是因為我不喜歡太熱鬧的慶祝方式。

大清早和朋友約好到PavilionThe Loaf吃個早點慰勞自己。
朋友叫了個Curry Bread子類的?哈,我真的不太記得了,真的太久post着生日post了。
Anyway,自己看照片吧。
就是看起來很好吃就對了!


我呢,那時也在“戒毒”期間,所以都在盡量避免吃任何能把我allergy加重的食物。

所以…ta-duh
…我叫了個簡單的巧克力蛋糕給我自己!


然後就很簡單的去唱了4小時的kLOL
我筋疲力盡地唱,粉身碎骨地唱,唱到喉嚨沙啞也要飆高音~
沒錯,進去k房時就只一隻老虎,出來時就是一隻老鼠。

然後就隨隨便便地逛逛街…oh對了,那天還是Lot 10 h&m開張呢!
我們兩隻傻婆就跟著人群去踏紅地毯排隊,等入門。
其實說真的咩,很不值得咩,h&m在瑞士是個超級普通的牌子但來到馬來西亞就好像LV店醬,我很不明白。
我知道你們接下來會問醬zomok我還廢到去排半小時進去咧?
這種精髓你們就不太明白了,我們是純粹無聊+湊熱鬧,爽排,你吹咩~?哈哈!

OK,進去兜兩圈,人擠人,東西沒什麼特別,就又跑回出來。
Pavilion閒逛,喝個茶等另個朋友放工來喝酒。
又那麼巧,竟然是octoberfest

就隨便選一間店:Malones


我們叫了一jug tiger啤酒和一些下酒菜。
你知道octoberfest最吸引人的是什麼嗎?
就是你能喝完一jug的啤酒,那個1L大杯子就是你的!
OK,我真的喝完。
This is the mug.



And….the next day我到公司就收到我今年生日的唯一一份禮物!


You know who you are, and thanks for the gift, I love it! <3
Short but simple birthday celebration with my good friends.
That’s enough for a brand new year ahead for me and I do hope for the best in my coming year!


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

敏感記:第三次看醫生


起身後刷牙洗臉照照鏡子看見自己像香腸的嘴唇就知道敏感根本就還沒退。
虧我還不斷自我安慰地說睡一覺一切就會安好。
我花了整整半小時決定到底要不要去醫院看看,還是去堅持上班。
打了通電話問Pathlab是否願意接受我去做Allergy Screen Test,卻被拒絕。
原因就是因為服用藥物期間是不能不做驗證,必須等到病退後的兩星期。
最讓我下定決心去醫院看病的其實就真的是這一通電話,因為我發現我已經自己連話都說不清楚了,就算去上班也只是個廢人。

7點起床以為能上班卻被逼睜大眼睛躺在床上擔心不已呆到9點才迫不及待戴著口罩到最近的Columbia Asia Hospital



不太曉得是個什麼樣的機構醫院等等,只知道到達後原來那裡並沒有皮膚專科,只好見General doctor

等待進房間的過程是擔心的。



進去後就把整段事件從上星期看了兩次診所,吃了什麼藥,幾時發現有癢和腫的跡象一五一十地說給那位印度醫生聽。
她很耐心地聽完,也不斷地問我到底有沒有吃過海鮮,等等之類的食物。
也告訴我很多的advices,例如什麼東西能吃不能吃,也告訴我我之前吃的藥是很小dosage
我當然也告訴她能的話我盡可能不要打那隻steroid針,即使我很確定那隻針能在一天內把我的腫都消去。
起初她沒懷疑什麼,直到看到我背部上的大一片hives islands後,她就很堅持地盡量說服我去打針。
我還真的是固執到死,我死都不肯打,因為我記得如果打過多的steroid針臉會變圓。
她不斷地說如果是長期打就一定會,但只是一支針是不會搞到什麼副作用。
我不肯冒這個險,結果醫生就只好看了很多很多的steroid藥丸給我。
一共三包,第一二天要一次性吃6粒,第三四天要吃4粒,第五六天要吃2粒。
即使好了也得吃完,原因就是因為如果突然停下服用,allergy隨時會再reburst
副作用當然是有了,就是會引起比較多的胃酸,所以這段時間我得不斷吃吃吃。
因為這雞蛋糕allergy,我已經一星期沒去運動,不斷吃,肥死…
還有什麼辦法?都成功閃掉打針了,現在就只好乖乖吃藥。



除了那些還有一整堆的要,全部都是無論如何都得在一星期內吃完。

我當然也詢問為什麼我連嘴唇都會腫,頭皮眼睛什麼的也都腫,她說這是因為這些都是soft tissue存在的部分,也是allergy會攻擊的地方。
醫生也說了如果連喉嚨都腫那就很嚴重,一定要第一時間去看她。
當然,這是我們大家都不希望的結果…
最後醫生給了我兩天mc

好不容易問完我的疑問,就到櫃檯給錢拿藥。

私人醫院價錢真的不菲…不想在這裡公開,但就真的不菲就對了。
要不是因為我看了兩次診所都醫不好,加上媽媽也念妹妹也念,不然我是打死也不會去到醫院看。

吃了個早餐,就睡覺。
睡醒後其實狀況有好很多了,身上的腫又消去一點也沒那麼癢了,只會看到紅紅的一片片。
只是嘴唇也還沒消…
明天就是生日了,難道我要帶著香腸嘴唇過生日?
去你的雞蛋糕,我不要啊!

第一次去Columbia Asia Hospital,對它的印象很好。
新開的醫院,安安靜靜,器材也很先進。
護士小姐們都很親切,醫生也很friendly也很專業。
凡事都會和病人說得清清楚楚,包括所開的藥每一個是為了什麼而吃,分量多少,什麼需要避免和注意等等。
想想我在馬大的診所看不到5分就出來的時候簡直就是天壤之別。
即使是貴,但藥成功起效果也得到作用,所以說,這是值得的。

保佑我快點好起來……please。

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Hives


話不多說,首先獻給大家看看今日主題的照片。


精彩嗎?
這就是敏感的後果,以上的照片只是我身上敏感冰山一角而已。
就在星期三早晨睡醒時就發現自己手臂有幾塊稍微腫了,但我卻不把它們當成一回事。
心裡只是笑著說蚊子很有創意,叮得很公整。
到了公司也不怎麼在意,還和大家一起到舊機場吃海鮮。
星期四睡醒就知道不對勁了,連身上背後大腿都腫得浮起來,赤裸裸的照著鏡子我自己也都覺得可怕。
腫起來的皮膚都很很很癢,我盡量不去抓但忍得很痛苦。

醫生一看就知道是敏感,只是叫我自己回想起自己之前吃了什麼,用過了什麼導致敏感。
他奶奶的,誰還記得兩天前發生過什麼事咧?
我只記得我沒吃特別的食物,也沒特別換什麼洗衣粉和沐浴露。
醫生還對我嘮恨話,說我可以幫你打一隻叫steriod的針,包你24小時內痊癒,但你得臉會腫得像豬頭一樣,皮膚也會變薄。
醫生這一招贏了,我後來就跟他說我死都不要打針,開藥和lotion給我就好。
結果就給我兩包感冒藥也就是敏感藥,steriod藥丸,用來塗chickenpox的水粉,和一小盒的cream

我有照醫生的話乖乖塗,星期五似乎有退腫的跡象,於是又上班。

星期六,它們又來了。
退腫的地方是退腫了沒錯,但其他的地方卻又腫了,也很超級無敵癢的。
頸,大腿,腰,背,手臂,屁股,手指,手掌,腳,就連嘴唇都腫了起來。
腫的地方實在太多了,醫生給的水粉和cream都用完了。
就因為真的很擔心,我就戒口,什麼都不吃,只吃雲吞面和吃雞絲粥。

星期日一大早,就去在看醫生拿藥。
我讓醫生看張在我身上的風莫,醫生就說都差不多要消了,不肯給我steriod藥丸,只給我水粉和藥膏,然後還要我第二天去醫院看皮膚專科,看看自己到底是敏感什麼。
我很了解他是想幫我找出根源,因為據他所說的,即使cream等等能讓風莫都消去,下次如果再碰到allergen再次引發allergy,同樣的事情還會發生。

今天看起來有比較好一點,只是現在連額頭都有了,只希望再睡一覺後一切都會淡化掉。
我想繼續跑步運動…

我沒什麼leave能拿了,也不好意思拿mc,或許就算真的要做test的話只好等星期三生日那天去做,畢竟那是屬於自己的一天。說起來,自從工作後,生日都是自己一個人過,其實很悲哀。其實,我在想如果沒必要的話,來臨的星期三生日不如就繼續在公司工作好了,反正也沒什麼地方去,也沒人可以陪我慶祝。不如就乖乖地在公司做工,然後放工吃飯睡覺。

話不多說,希望睡醒所有感染的部分都會好起來…
拜託,我要皮膚美美的,不然…很難想像我穿短褲去跑nike run

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

話說


話說前兩天我主動信息回隔了兩年沒聯絡的第二任。
還以為會沒回應的,哪知就得到她一個短信息,然後就來電。
聊了不久,她哪兒真的很吵,原來她和朋友在外頭喝茶。
吵雜聲越來越響亮,於是就這麼的結束話題,然後她說第二天再聯絡我。
當然,我沒報任何期望,畢竟我很確定我自己的立場和對她的感覺已經是past tense
過不久,她wassap來說要加我fb,我戰戰兢兢不捨得給(誰會要add exesfb吶,特別還是個現在有男朋友或未婚夫的?)。
我半推半扯開話題,然後她說你差不多生日了?
我就開玩笑說,對啊,你要替我慶祝是不?
她說好,要去哪你決定。

第二天晚上八點多,她的電話來了,我接了。
第一句開場白就是你要不要approvefriend request
我才剛從睡夢中醒來,還真的以為是陌生人打來鬧,後來她才說她是某某某。
我有開玩笑說approveapprove那麼重要嗎?
後來就聊了說一些閒話,如在哪工作,工作怎麼的。
可能是我真的很好奇,我暗中參差問些說幾時要結婚,訂婚了是不之類的話。
當然啦,她閃躲話題,顯然她不要在我面前聊她男友/未婚夫的話題。
我的性格就是如此,我不追問別人不想回答的話題,就這麼的讓這話題停下來。
後來,就說回到從前,說我們以前在一起時我怎麼欺負她之類的,我心裡就真的很莫名其妙,我真的不曉得我何年何月欺負過她。
但因為她目前都有個交往3年多的男友/未婚夫,我也就不多解釋以前的事,只說以前的事我不想聊。
後來我也嘲笑說你很厲害嘛,還知道我的生日快接近。
她就猶豫的說因為他也是天秤的…然後,我也就只能打哈哈了。
我還真的以為她真的記得我是幾月幾日呢,真的是拿臉來貼冷屁股。
聊天之際,才發現那天和我信息的不是她,而是她的朋友(?),汗!
她竟然在電話中不斷地說她朋友單身,想和我慶祝生日之類的。
我心裡就:去你的,我和你聊天是要你幫我拉天窗?!
Anyway,我沒這麼回答,我就只是說你朋友很有趣,very flirtatious,然後又打一個哈哈。
後來就說了要幾時然後到哪兒一起吃晚餐等等,就這麼的結束通話。

談了兩天,我就越來越覺得她變了很多很多。
變美了是當然的,但裡頭的她也離從前的她太遠了。
我利用兩天的時間問自己對她還有沒有那種當初的感覺,想不到竟然是沒有了。
有的只是“你過你的日子,我過我的日子”的想法。
聽見她和他能把一段關係維持得那麼久,或許還會有一點點的嫉妒和難過,但過不久就都能忘懷,只要我去健身跑步,或不斷工作。
我或許做不到像我對我第一任一樣的祝福他們幸福快樂,但至少她現在是開心的。

當然了,我目前也有很關心我的人。J
只是,我很坦白地告訴對方我選擇就這樣子停下腳步,不踏進一步,因為感覺實在不對。
錯的時間遇上對的人也是一種不安。

看著自己的前任們一個個都有新的伴侶後,無論是我衷心祝福的還是無言的,都會發現自己其實很孤單。
但我堅守這份孤單,只因目前的我實在不適合談戀愛。
我總覺得在我這個年齡介裡,我應該多多看看外面的世界,為自己的未來打拼,讓自己的家人過好一點的日子,其他的就暫時擱著一邊。
我們應該感謝我們曾經經歷的的,珍惜目前所得到,努力爭取未來想要的。
這個世界太大,而我不甘心為一個人放棄觀看這世界的廣闊。
還是說或許那個人還沒踏進我的世界?

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

胡言亂語1


我總是保持著一副讓人難以接近的樣子。
我不笑也不哭,但不代表我沒自己的想法。
我只是不喜歡或則說表現出自己的軟弱和內心的脆弱。
擁有我成長歷史的孩子,相信都會有一層超級無敵厚的保護層讓自己不被外界侵入。
我身子裡藏著的瘋狂,相信只有我的好朋友見過。
我試過在大城市的某個天橋凌晨一點看著腳下飛快的車子大喊。
也試過在沙灘被朋友用沙子覆蓋得只剩一顆頭。
也試過與室友在凌晨三點到湖邊大喊,純粹為了作弄她。
當然最普遍的是讀書到三根半夜又睡不著,就駕自己的摩托在um campus裡飛馳。
最佳紀錄,繞整個um加後山15分鐘,真的不能再快了。

我就是那個赤着腳的孩子。
我不喜歡規矩,也不喜歡被約束。
我能隨便買食物,然後就在街邊坐著就吃。
在生活裡(感情除外),我倒是一名很隨性的人。

今年我要自己背著一個背包,帶著幾件衣服,單身離開吉隆玻到外頭好好地讓靈魂休息。
說是這麼說,很酷嘛,但我還在尋找那份自己一個人闖蕩江湖的勇氣。
古晉計劃拉倒,檳城也去過了,一名女生到底該去哪裡呢?
我看著馬來西亞地圖才發現太遠的城市就擔心社會治安問題,太近的卻又覺得沒意義。
不如…就打開亞航隨便點到那個地區就去哪個?呵呵。
死都不敢跟媽媽說我打算自己一個人出去旅行,怕她又念念念。

天氣轉寒,加上無比的思念,突然就想來根煙。
超級後悔沒從家裡帶那包幾百年都沒抽完的煙回來。
抽煙不是墮落,不是耍酷。
當你抽一口,那種冰冰涼涼的感覺會麻醉你的喉嚨,然後第二層的溫熱會包圍著你的喉嚨。
吐出來的煙會讓你有點兒微醺。
我不是慣性煙民,只是喜歡在安靜的三更才抽一根回想自己的過去。
在煙一滅後,就深深吸一口氣回到自己的桌位寫著自己的感想和記錄自己的文字。

Saturday, September 1, 2012

路人


凡是走進我心窗的都見過在我心窗外哭泣的大雨。
帶上在無盡的笑容裡的面具裡,背後是一道道磨滅不了的傷痕。
小孩經歷得太多或許就不能滿足於擁有玩具火車的世界裡。
看見世界的醜陋更多,就更加不能接受自己掉進那股漩渦裡。
抱著回憶地溺愛的痛苦,就試著放開手祝福與成全。
然,心窗傾盆大雨依然只有我一人能瞧,而心窗的鑰匙持有者就唯獨我。
將心窗鎖得密不透風之際,我聽見窗外路人敲門之音。
扮得漠不關心,裝得屋內無人,靜靜地期待路人離開。
路人終究在屋外守候,等待著門被打開的奇蹟。
屋內的我伸手手觸碰路人的肩頭,隔著石灰的石牆嘗試與她對話。
交談許久,路人不斷地再而三的提出踏進屋內的要求。
三番四次的推辭,和數不盡的拒絕,怎麼路人還不離開?
當我放棄對話,要求路人離開,路人怎麼卻堅決地停留在外?
然,當路人提起腳板踏出離開的第一步,我卻要求路人繼續停留在屋外與我對話。

我想,這不是愛,只是卻渴望關懷。
沉醉在路人的關懷裡,我就像個小孩被寵壞。
多麼的不應該,或許是得學著要求路人放棄地離開。
路人堅決的等待讓我像庸人一般地不知所措只能原地等待。

好想對你說聲對不起,請你離開。
但看著你寂寞的背影,我卻極度內疚讓你受傷害。